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Tuesday, 7 June 2016

Joan

I am crying while writing this. I just got a text message from a very special friend saying that she is dying. I will visit her asap to hold her hand and say farewell. I knew things were not good but I had no idea it was this bad. I now finally understand her distance towards me of the past several months. I have asked her permission to write this blog, which she granted.

My first contact with Joan dates back to 1999. We became chat friends and had long talks for many months without knowing each other. I think we finally met on a beautiful spring or summer day in 2000. I borrowed a fancy convertible from the company’s car pool to impress her. I still remember that I was very nervous but she was too. The ice was quickly broken.

Without Joan, I would not be the person who I am today. She made me believe in myself again after having been rejected within my own marriage. I have always been grateful to her for that. Joan and I have always liked each other very much but sometimes that's just not enough. She and I are both strong persons and our characters often collided. Nevertheless, after each collision we forgave, forgot and reconciled again. Until our next collision.

Soon there will be no more collisions between Joan and me. Good and warm memories are left for both her and me. She will never ever be forgotten as I never ever forget my true friends. She saved me and there are only a few people in my life who are in that VIP league.

Her imminent death means that I'm losing another very special friend. It's hard, really hard to realise that soon she will be gone. No more Queen Joan days on April 30. Her paintings in my house will always be a vivid memory of her, and of our very close friendship. I cannot but cry. For the past, for the present, and even for the future. It seems unfair that I am the one who continues and not my special friends (Victor 1998, Jan 2003 and now Joan in 2016).

Joan Armatrading's Save Me was the song that immediately came to mind and the suggestion feels perfect to me. I just hope Joan will be able to continue saving her loved ones from the other end. I know she will when she can. Farewell my very, very special friend. You will always have that special place in my heart and in the hearts of many others. You have earned it, big time!

Farewell Joontje.


Joan Armatrading – Save me (1976) - artist, lyrics, video, Wiki-1, Wiki-2

Sinking 
Caught up in a whirling motion 
Such a strange sensation 
The currents uncertain 
Like sails of a mill I spin

Like wheels I move in a circle 
While you stand on the bank 
Immune or evasive 
Throw me a lifeline 
Save me...

Intimacy and affection, frozen 
In this game of chance I forfeit 
Full hand of love with no counters 
Like a moth with no flame to persuade me 
Like blood in the rain running thin 
While you stand on the inside looking in 
Save me...

Inside looking in 
Complete in yourself 
Throw me a lifeline 
Save me...

Stand on the bank 
Immune or evasive 
Throw me a lifeline 
Save me...